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Mother Of My Children

by Black Belt Eagle Scout

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1.
Soft Stud 06:08
Surprises in the night Won’t you have your way? Open up the door I see I know you’re taken What is it to you? Habits just don’t fade Open, overcrowded love I know you’re taken I know you’re taken Need you want you I know you’re taken What you say to me Breathes in desperately In my lungs and through my chest I know you’re listening Always through and through I see it in your eyes Wondering if you want me I know you’re taken I know you’re taken Need you want you I know you’re taken
2.
Wastin’ Wastin’ Wastin’ away Wastin’ Wastin’ Wastin’ away Do you ever notice what surrounds you? When it’s all bright and tucked under Do you ever notice what’s around you? When it’s all right under our skin Wastin’ Wastin’ Wastin’ away Wastin’ Wastin’ Wastin’ away Do you ever notice what surrounds you? When it’s bright, wrapped up for you Do you ever notice what’s around you? When it’s all there, in the wake of you
3.
Keyboard 03:50
You know it surrounds you in the day You know it surrounds you in the day But it finds you in the night Finds you in the night Finds you in the night Finds you in the night Mother of My Children Without you Without you Without you Without you Was in song I first sung When I discovered Love for you You You You You Are my light In darkness and The brightest times Even though My dream of mothers I won’t know
4.
5.
Yard 04:10
Keep em in the yard Keep em in the yard Keep em in the yard Keep em in the yard It is the light inside of us That breathes the light in front of us It breathes until it goes And then it ends Mmm.
6.
I don’t have you in my life Just like anyone Ever will really know Night is in the light Underneath the dark Onto someone I don’t understand about it Wondering what human nature Having Understand the screts Life is undefined Winter Nights have feeling So much pleasure In the night Over-filling In the light Just like Billings, Montana Oh you got there In the mud Just like women Around in the mud Oh you found it Come through light I surround you But I don’t have you in my life I’m just what is around you Took a moment You forgot me I’m just waving around you
7.
You aren’t yourself What’s wrong You aren’t yourself What’s wrong It’s in your head Your heart These eyes Are coming apart Just lie down Head on the ground Sky looks blue Just like you You aren’t yourself What’s wrong You aren’t yourself What’s wrong It’s in your mind Your eyes This soul Of mine Just lie down Head on the ground Sky looks blue Just like you
8.
Sam, A Dream 04:33
I’d wait all night Just to see you I’d wait my whole life Just to meet you Well you know there’s not much time For you and I In the sky Cos you know there’s not much longer For our two hearts In the clouds

about

“Having this identity—radical indigenous queer feminist—keeps me going. My music and my identity come from the same foundation of being a Native woman.” Katherine Paul (aka KP) is Black Belt Eagle Scout, and Mother of My Children is her debut album. Recorded in the middle of winter near her hometown in Northwest Washington, Paul’s connection to the landscape’s eerie beauty are palpable throughout as the album traces the full spectrum of confronting buried feelings and the loss of what life was supposed to look like. Paul reflects, “I wrote this album in the fall of 2016 after two pretty big losses in my life. My mentor, Geneviève Castrée, had just died from pancreatic cancer and the relationship I had with the first woman I loved had drastically lessened and changed.” Heavy and heartbroken, Paul found respite from the weight of such loss in the creation of these songs that “are about grief and love for people, but also about being a native person in what is the United States today.”

On Mother of My Children, the songs weave together to capture both the enduring and fleeting experiences of loss, frustration, and dreaming. The structures are traditional, but the lyrics don’t adhere to any format other than what feels right in the moment. Mother of My Children begins with lead single “Soft Stud,” which Paul describes as her “queer anthem.” It’s “about the hardships of queer desire within an open relationship.” It’s followed by “Indians Never Die,” a call out to colonizers and those who don’t respect the Earth. As Standing Rock was happening, many people in Paul’s life were coming together to fight for the most basic necessity to sustain human life: water. “Our treaty rights weren’t being honored. Imagine hearing on the news that the government doesn’t support you as a human being and never has. They don’t care about the water, they don’t care about how they are destroying what is around them. Indigenous people are the protectors of this land. Indians never die because this is our land that we will forever protect in the present and the afterlife.”

Paul grew up in a small Indian reservation, the Swinomish Indian Tribal Community, surrounded by family focused on native drumming, singing, and arts. From an early age, Paul was singing and dancing at powwows with one of her strongest memories at her family’s own powwow, called the All My Relations Powwow. Paul reminisces, “When I was younger, my only form of music was through the songs my ancestors taught the generations of my family. Singing in our language is a spiritual process and it carries on through me in how I create music today.” With the support of her family and a handful of bootleg Hole and Nirvana VHS tapes, Paul taught herself how to play guitar and drums as a teenager. In 2007, she moved to Portland, Oregon to attend college and get involved with the Rock’n’Roll Camp for Girls eventually diving deep into the city’s music scene playing guitar and drums in bands while evolving her artistry into what would later become Black Belt Eagle Scout.

Mother of My Children is a life chapter gently preserved. The access listeners have to such vulnerability feels special and generous.

credits

released September 14, 2018

Black Belt Eagle Scout is Katherine Paul - guitar, vocals, drums/percussion, bass, keyboard, vibraphone, organ and piano.

Recorded by Nich Wilbur at the Anacortes Unknown Recording Studio in Anacortes, WA.

Mixed by Nich and KP except for "Soft Stud" which was mixed by Benjamin Weikel and Brandon Summers at Helio Sound in Portland, OR.

Mastered by Benjamin Weikel and Brandon Summers.

Album photography by Natalie Eagan and album design by Tyler Ferrin.

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